MUSINGS about LIFE

Yes, God loves me even when I'm grumpy!

We've been without heat for a week now. Well, not really because we've been heating the house with space heaters since our furnace went out so we've not been freezing to death. During that week, we were also without hot water for 5 days. What this means is that my normal life has been interrupted. I've gotten to the age now where an interruption in my routine is not something to be savored and I instead skip right to the grumbling. Of course, when I really get right down and think about it, I realize the silliness of it all. I mean I have a nice house to stay in. A warm bed. We've been able to keep the temperature in the 60s and yet I still act like I'm back in the stone age. Even with all that, God still loves me. How do I know? Because he continues to take care of me. Just today, Ron Fugle stopped over with a big tray of sandwiches and salad from his work. God is watching out for my needs even though I'm being grumpy and childish. Thanks God. I just want you to know that I appreciate it. Alot.

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What are you holding on to

Anyone with a child or two in the house knows they can be great examples of life and/or spiritual lessons in a small package. I was watching Levi (my 16 year old) and Aren (my 2 year old) interacting today. Levi had something that Aren found interesting and Aren wanted to hold it. Levi, being the nice big brother he is let Aren see what it was he had. Aren took it and started playing with it. After a while, Levi needed to leave and asked for his item back. What do you think Aren's response was? "NO, its mine." This response from Aren started me thinking. God gives me so many things in my life. But sometimes, He asks for them back. Whether its my money, or my car, or home, sometimes God wants me to use them to bless others, or to let them go completely. A lot of times, my response is just like Aren's. No, its mine! When a 2 year old does it, we smile and then use the opportunity to teach. Once our children get older, our response gets stronger. So too, when we are new Christians, God's response is to smile and gently teach us. But once we are more mature if we have the same reaction, God will not treat us the same way. Just like I would not treat Levi the same way as Aren if he said "No, its mine!". So, what is your reaction when God asks you for something he has given you? Do you say "Here you go God!" or do you say "No! Its mine!"

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Themes

I just noticed Levi has changed his blog theme to one of the "Obsidian" themes. I would like to go on record as saying I had mine set this way first!

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Procrastination

Let me tell you something, I could receive olympic gold in procrastination. Its not something I'm proud of, I consider it to be fault. I only seem to be able to really jump into something when the deadline is looming. I look with envy on those people who don't seem to struggle with this moral blemish. Take my preparation for teaching a 2 week class in ABF on trusting God, I was asked a month ago if I would be willing to teach and I agreed. Since then, I've thought several times about preparing but always put it off. Now, its the last week and I've barely even scratched the surface. Is it because I'm so busy that there is always something more important to do? There may be a little of that going on but its not all of it. How many times have I laid there, watch TV, thinking I needed to prepare and putting it off? This problem must be solved! I think I'll work on it tomorrow.

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Is God good or what!?

This happened to me a couple weeks ago but I'm still blown away by it. One compartment in my life is as a hosting services provider. What the means is that I have a few servers sitting on the internet that I use to provide web, email, blog, etc hosting services to my clients. Well, a couple weeks ago, one of my clients contacted me. He called about 6 in the morning on sunday morning (always a good time to get a tech call). "Hey, my website is down. Can you take a look?" Ok, this might end up being a problem I thought, since this was the 3rd time he'd called me about this site. I just figured I could reboot the server and get to church and worry about the reasons later. I drove up to the hosting center (a townhome in volo) and went to the basement only to see the drive light on the server solid blue. Oy, thats never a good sign. I cycled the power on the box and it started to come back up, then stopped. Drive light stayed a solid blue. My heart sank. Maybe church was not in my future after all. I had some other xserve boxen there that were not being used so I pulled a drive out and stuck it in the problem box and started it up. The OS came up but of course all the stuff I needed was on the bad drive. I took a deep breath and stuck the problem drive in the secondary bay. Up it came. I breathed a sign of relief and started copying the webobjects application over. Copy finished, I pulled the problem drive and started configuring the server to host WebObjects apps. I look at my phone to see the time... 9:30, guess I'm missing Sunday School... Finish up configuring the wotask daemon and start the app up. Hit it with a browser... NO IMAGES!!!!??? Oh shoot, I forgot to copy the megabytes of images that make up the catalog for this site. ARG! Look at my phone again. Its 10:30 so I guess I'm gonna be pushing it to make church. I stick the problem  drive back in the bay and watch with horror as the light goes solid blue again. I pull the drive, wait for a few seconds and stick it back in again. Solid blue light. Funny, I used to like the color blue but NOT TODAY! My mind is racing. Did I back up these images? I remember that at one point, several years ago, I used to host the static portion of the site on one of my linux boxen. I ssh into the box in question... cd /home/suburbanwheelcover/public_html/.. Run a quick ls -l on it. Yes! The images directory is there. from 2005. Oy. Oh well, better than nothing. I tarball the folder and  a quick scp gets it where I want it to go. Untar it and hit the site again. Some images show, some just show a blank box. Oh well, better than nothing. At least the site is up and I can call Mark and tell him the sites live again. A quick glance at the time tells me that I'll make the sermon at church. Maybe a rest will help the drive work later.

Fast forward to that afternoon. I'm back down in the basement ready to stick the drive in the bay, hoping that it will mount and I can copy the correct images folder. I stick the drive in and hold my breath.. The light flashes a couple times and the drive icon appears on the desktop. YA! I open up a terminal and start to tar the images directory... a couple seconds later I see the light go solid blue again. ARG! I pull the drive and start praying (as a side note, isn't it interesting how we only start praying once we've come to the end of our abilities?). "God, I know you can just fix this drive with your power. This computer holds no challenge for you. Please touch it so I can copy these files off". The unsaid part of the prayer was "please let me copy these files so I don't look like an idiot for not backing up regularly". I stick the drive back in and it goes solid blue again. I remember Naaman and how Elisha wanted him to dip in the jordan 7 times. Maybe God wants me to show my faith by trying it more times than one. I pray again and the drive goes in the bay. Solid blue. Repeat several more times. Same outcome. Oh well, God never promises he will fix all problems that are a result of my own stupidity. I resign myself to having the hard discussion with the client. 

I call the client and explain the situation. I ask, in a rather plaintive tone, "I don't suppose you have copies of those images on your local drive?". No such luck. He assumed I was making copies. Of course, I would have assumed the same thing if it was me. The only thing I can think to do is call a recovery service to recover the drive. After looking online, it seems it will cost about $1500.00. Ouch! I'm not going to want to explain that to my wife. 

The next day, I'm back at the office and something tells me to just try the drive one more time. I walk to the basement praying, "God, I know I don't deserve your blessing in my life and in this situation especially and if you make it work I'll spread the word about your provision since it will obviously be you that makes it happen.". I stick the drive in and it mounts. I start copying the folder, keeping an eye on the light as it flashes with drive activity. 10%, 30%, 60%... My heart starts beating a bit faster. 80%, 90%, 100%! PRAISE GOD! I put the images in the correct location and hit it with a browser. IMAGES! YAY!

The above story started me thinking again on something that seems to come up a lot in my life. God blesses me even when I really REALLY don't deserve it. Which started me thinking deeper about it. Do I ever deserve God's blessings? I have to say no. No matter how  good I try to be, or how wise I try to be, I still fall way short of God's standards for righteousness and wisdom. However, if we are in Christ, God doesn't look at our righteousness or wisdom, he sees Christ's righteousness and wisdom. God blesses me because I'm in Christ and I'm in Christ because God loved me enough to die on the cross for me, so God blesses me because He loves me and thats the real story here.

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So I'm finally doing it

Well, what can I say. As a technologist specializing in web and network technologies, I've known about blogging before it was called blogging. I've often wondered if I should try my hand at it but never taken the step. Today I can say I've finally taken the step. At least I'm putting my foot out. I'm not sure how its going to go or if I'll have anything interesting to write but we'll all journey together. With all the action that is my life, I'm sure I will not lack in material. Ok, enough rambling. I'm planning on writing about whatever is interesting to me at the time. That might be about my relationship with God, or my family, or maybe about technology. I guess time will tell.

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